Lao Toothpaste
A little what-the-fuck moment the other day as I proceeded to brush my teeth.
Early in the morning, barely awake, bleak-eyed, under the neon of my purple bathroom, I open a new tube of toothpaste I bought at the minimart down the street, spread some on my toothbrush and…
Wait.
What??
It’s brown. The toothpaste is brown.
(no, really. it's brown)
Which reminds me: didn’t I swear to myself a while ago that from then on, I would only buy official Colgate toothpaste, to be safe?
Yes. Yes, I did.
Because a while ago, that’s what happened to me: early in the morning, barely awake, bleak-eyed, I spread some toothpaste on my toothbrush, put it in my mouth and start brushing. And stop. It tastes like SALT. The freaking toothpaste is SALTY.
To be fair, the brand name is… Salz. So it’s not like I didn’t get any heads-up. I guess it just didn’t click while I was in the store, it just never even crossed my mind that salty toothpaste could even exist. Well, that’s the beauty of living abroad right? The everyday random discoveries. Right.
I thought I’d learn my lesson and I did only buy Colgate toothpaste for a while. Until I forgot. Can I sneak in a little metaphor here about how if you don’t know history you’re bound to relive it, and how humanity is nothing but a long string of children making the same mistakes as their parents over and over again?...
No. Definitely not. Back to toothpaste.
So I bought a cheap unknown brand once again, and that’s how I’m being punished. The toothpaste is brown.
(still brown!)
I stared at my toothbrush for a few seconds, then shrugged and brushed my teeth anyway.
Hm! Tastes herbal!